April 18th Holiday
NEWSPAPER COLUMNISTS DAY
Today I will celebrate Newspaper Columnists by paying homage to one of the all time greats, Dear Abby.
I found some of the most hilarious questions ever posed to the columnist Pauline Phillips, aka Abigail Van Buren, aka Dear Abby. Instead of writing about how she responded, I will take a crack at dishing out some much needed advice.
DEAR HAYLEY, I have a man I can’t trust. He cheats so much, I’m not even sure the baby I’m carrying is his. CONFUSED
DEAR CONFUSED, I think you may need to go back to Sex Ed class.
DEAR HAYLEY, I was married to Bill for three months, and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober. SUE
DEAR SUE, Well, it sounds like you like him as a drunk. Go with it and buy him some more vodka.
DEAR HAYLEY, Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early? WONDERING
DEAR WONDERING, No.
DEAR HAYLEY: Do you think about dying much? CURIOUS
DEAR CURIOUS, Do you know something I don’t know?
Wow, some of these questions are pretty classic. People can be really dumb sometimes, huh? Dear Abby was very funny and very witty. I did not even come close to her caliber, but hey, I tried my best.
Total Cost to Celebrate: $0
Clip of the Day:
My personal favorite columnist, nevermind that she’s fictional:
P.S. – I miss this show.