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BAD POETRY DAY

There is a lot of bad poetry out there, I’m talking about A LOT. I am not a huge fan of poetry for the most part, so the majority of it is bad as far as I’m concerned. I have always found reading poetry to be quite monotonous and it never could hold my attention. I cannot handle broken sentences and trying to figure out the implication of each word…too much work. Me no like to think when read (in caveman voice). All of my criticism aside, in celebration of today’s holiday I dug up this lost treasure:

 

Why do I still have this? Your guess is as good as mine. I have a large memory bag that I keep certain mementos in and this apparently made the cut many many years ago. Let’s have a peek into the mind of 13 year old Hayley…..

Wow. So deep. I can say with confidence that this definitely suits today’s holiday. Like I said:

Poetry is not my bag, baby

Bad poetry….maybe.

See that bad poem I just created there? It even rhymes. I’m literally patting myself on the back right now.

Total Cost to Celebrate: $0

MAIL ORDER CATALOG DAY

Montgomery Ward Department Store published the first mail order catalog on this date in 1872. By 1904, their mail order catalog weighed in at a beefy 4 pounds. I’m sure the people delivering those beasts had some impressive biceps. I remember as a youngster clamoring over the annual JCPenney catalog and compiling my Christmas list based on the hottest new toys I found within those hundreds of pages. Today the mail order catalog is basically obsolete. With the dawn of the internet age, the need for these books is completely unnecessary. Not to mention the millions of acres of trees that are thanking their lucky stars the mail order catalog has met its demise. That being said, some companies still utilize the mail order system. Although, the catalogs are greatly reduced in size and half the time they want you to logon to the internet to order. For example, we received this catalog just last week:

I guess I shouldn’t say we received it, Stella received it actually. Stella is the former owner of our home (which we have been in for over 5 years now). She also is no longer alive. We regularly receive mail for Stella, I’m beginning to think she may still be hanging around the house in some form or another. I’m getting off topic, back to the matter at hand. This catalog is for really ugly shoes. I was hoping to get another option in the mail because I just cannot bring myself to order something from here. Not so surprisingly, no additional mail order catalogs have shown up. I gave some thought as to how I could celebrate today’s holiday and brainstormed a great idea. A lot of times mail order forms come for checks and return address labels, right? Well, we don’t need checks but we do need return address labels. I thought this would be fitting because these are for, what else, the mail! I went online and found 4 designs I like. Here’s the fun part – I want all you blog readers to pick our new labels. Friends, it is time for this month’s SURVEY!! I will take votes until the end of the month and then announce the final pick during my August wrap-up post. Can you feel the excitement building?? Here are your choices:

You get one vote and one vote only so make it count.

Thanks for helping me celebrate the wonderful world of mail. Remember: “When you control the mail, you control…..information.” –Newman

Total Cost to Celebrate: $8 – not actually spent yet, but that is how much the labels will cost.

Clip of the Day:

Mike Myers in So I Married an Axe Murderer. His hip (bad) poetry read:

 

P.S. – If you attended Frost Middle School the same years as I did let me know if you would like me to relay your artistic musings so you too can reflect on those oh-so-awkward tween years. Some of them even include special handwritten messages!

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