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INGERSOLL DAY

“When I became convinced that the universe is natural, that all the ghosts and gods are myths, there entered into my brain, into my soul, into every drop of my blood the sense, the feeling, the joy of freedom. The walls of my prison crumbled and fell. The dungeon was flooded with light and all the bolts and bars and manacles became dust. I was no longer a servant, a serf, or a slave. There was for me no master in all the wide world, not even in infinite space. I was free — free to think, to express my thoughts — free to live my own ideal, free to live for myself and those I loved, free to use all my faculties, all my senses, free to spread imagination’s wings, free to investigate, to guess and dream and hope, free to judge and determine for myself . . . I was free! I stood erect and fearlessly, joyously faced all worlds.”

Robert Green Ingersoll, “Why I Am An Agnostic”

 

Today’s holiday honors the “Great Agnostic,” Robert Green Ingersoll. He was born on this day in 1833 and died in 1899. He is considered to be one of the greatest freethinkers in U.S. history. As you can see from his quote above and his appropriate nickname, he did not believe in any higher power. I am not one to stir the pot when it comes to religion, I feel that is one of the most personal choices anyone has in today’s society. I believe that everyone has a right to their beliefs and they should be respected and also give respect to others that have different viewpoints. Therefore, I will honor Mr. Ingersoll today by having some free, non-secular, thoughts of my own. Enjoy the glimpse inside the enormous organ that is, Hayley’s brain:

Hayley on Fashion

I see that the new hot Fall style of jeans is the ‘micro-flare’…….so we begin the cycle again. I predict in 1 year’s time we are seeing the bell bottoms make their mainstream resurgence. I can’t wait for the big baggy jeans to be back in style, maybe then I can get some circulation back in my legs.

 

Hayley on the Government

I’m not going to lie, I could not care less about what is happening in D.C. these days. I have enough to worry about on a day to day basis with one whiny baby, I don’t need an entire government filled with them too.

 

Hayley on Parenting

If it makes them stop crying, it’s fine by me. Tearing through books and magazines? Hey, as long as you’re quiet then we’re square. Ripping out tufts of hair from the cat? That’s cool, watch out for the kitty face slap though….Oh! You think they’re playing with you, that’s nice. Trying to bite the cat? Well, we may have a problem there…..I have to draw the line when we get into the biting zone. I don’t want to be the mom in Preschool that has the kid that everyone refers to as, “The One that Bites”. I suppose if the whole vampire phenomenon is still playing out then we’ll be fine, right?

 

Hayley on Music

Please stop playing that horribly tired “Rolling in the Deep” song, it’s making my brain bleed. Who on this planet is still requesting that song?? Seriously, I am flabbergasted that just a few hours ago it was the ‘most requested song of the hour’. Shoot me.

 

Hayley on Marriage

The key to a successful marriage is 3 important factors: 1) Being able to laugh together, 2) Being able to have separate and distinct lives, 3) Being able to approach life and your relationship one day at a time. Oh, and knowing when to keep your mouth shut….yeah, that is probably the most important marriage lesson and yet the hardest to master.

I think that’s enough thinking for one day. I’m sleepy.

Total Cost to Celebrate: $0

PRESIDENT’S JOKE DAY

Contrary to popular belief, this holiday is to celebrate President’s actually telling jokes rather than everyone else ripping them apart. On this day in 1984, President Reagan was joking around during a voice test for his regularly scheduled radio address. Little did he know, he was actually live on the air. What did he say, you ask? He said, “My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.” Whoa buddy, wonder how many Russians he had running for cover! So, it turns out that President’s do have a sense of humor. I know I featured some lovely Bushims on here awhile ago. The funniest part of that is the fact that he was not trying to be funny. Here are some true quotes from past Presidents, some for comedic relief and other were obvious mix-ups:

“I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.”
Jimmy Carter

“I have orders to be awakened at any time in the case of a national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.”
Ronald Reagan

“It’s no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another.”
George Bush

“I have opinions of my own – strong opinions – but I don’t always agree with them.”
George Bush

“Politics is supposed be the second oldest profession. I have come to realise that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.”
Ronald Reagan

“You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by his way of eating jellybeans.”
Ronald Reagan

“When the President does it, that means that it’s not illegal.”
Richard Nixon

 

I see Reagan is the front runner when it comes to funny Presidents. All that Hollywood charm did him good.

Total Cost to Celebrate: $0

Clip of the Day:

Here is our current Prez taking a crack at comedy hour:

 

P.S. – Where ARE Biggie and Tupac? Obama knows. I can see he’s mocking us with his top secret knowledge.

 

 

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